


Human Nature

by ronqueesha



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Awkwardness, F/M, First Time, Porn With Plot, some mentions of dark themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 21:09:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14269578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronqueesha/pseuds/ronqueesha
Summary: X6-88 has entered into a romantic relationship with the Institute's new Director. However, try as he might to make their romance physical, he cannot. Or so he believes...





	Human Nature

**Author's Note:**

> If you follow me on Tumblr, you've probably seen this already. I've fallen hard for the Sole Survivor/X6-88 ship, and I think he fits perfectly with my canon sole. I also have tons of headcanons about synths and their darker relationship with the Institute, and I wanted to get it out there somehow. And this is the result.

After spending over sixteen months with Director Zoe Bhatia, X6-88 managed to teach himself the advanced skill of deciphering her moods. Something not many could claim.  

As he walked into the Director’s office, ostensibly to deliver a report from the SRB (but really just to spend a moment in her proximity), he noticed the way Zoe hunched over her terminal, elbows on the table surface to keep herself upright. Her breaths were long and heavy, drawn through her nose and out her mouth. And her fingertips rested against her temples, curled into talons that tightened and relaxed at random intervals.

Zoe seethed. And her anger only grew as he remained still at the doorway, awaiting her consent to enter.

“Don’t just fucking stand there, X6.” She growled without turning around. Like him, she had come to know many of X6-88’s subtleties. She could decipher many people’s identities from cues that were often overlooked. Like the sound their boots made when walking in her direction. Or the way he fluttered sheets of paper in his hand, almost too nervous to hold something given to him by a human lest something terrible happen to the package and he took the blame.

The synth did as directed and strode further into Director Bhatia’s domain. A place others like him were not allowed without express permission. But as her assigned bodyguard and personal assistant, he had special privileges to her. A fact that they both exploited as best they could. He placed the sealed envelope from the SRB on her desk, then walked up to Zoe and placed his hand on her shoulder. Beneath her clothing, he could feel the way Zoe’s muscles clenched and shuddered.

X6-88 glanced at the terminal that vexed her. The screen displayed a report from the Robotics Division. A full inventory of their quarterly supply of compounds and chemicals, many of which were used in the construction of new Gen-3 synths. The cursor had stopped on a special entry in that list.

“Did you know about this?” Zoe asked him in a small fragile voice. Again without turning around or changing her posture.

X6-88 glanced back at the terminal to confirm what she meant. Indeed, she had stopped when she reached the special category. The one full of synthesized hormones and other chemicals specifically injected into synth bodies to regulate or halt internal processes in the same way a human body could do on its own. The process of assembling synths as fully grown adults meant they required extensive injections of necessary substances that their bodies would take time to make naturally. On top of other things.

“Compound GnRH-19.” He said as he read over a highlighted section, then nodded his head. He was familiar with that particular substance. “All Institute synths are required to have it injected as part of our regular three-month medical checkups. My most recent treatment was last month.”

After he spoke, Zoe shrugged herself away from X6-88’s grip, then turned to look up at him. The unscarred half of her face twisted and curled, and flushed a deep red. Both of her eyes welled with moisture. “And you know what it does to you?”

X6-88 looked back to the terminal, then toward the Director. “Chemical castration of all synths and coursers in Institute service.” He parroted the words on the screen, but did not know why it caused her such emotional distress.

Zoe shoved X6 backward and rocketed to her feet. She stood more than half a meter shorter than him, but her presence filled the room. The heavy breathing she exhibited grew more intense. As did the coloration on her face. “Those bastards! I’m gonna… They knew I’d find out sooner or later! I need to shut them down…” She mumbled her words, combining sentences before the previous one could complete. Another sure sign of Zoe Bhatia’s rage.

X6-88 put his hands behind his back and stood his ground. A behavior long instilled into him by his creators. It let Zoe know he was not a threat to her. Often when humans consumed themselves with emotion, they required a calming presence who would listen to their grievances, or would accept their verbal lashing until the situation calmed. He would do either of those for her. And a thousand other tasks if it helped ease her mind. 

“I would advise against taking rash action, ma’am. The Institute has never done anything for empty or petty reasons. The scientists who ordered the treatments have valid concerns.”

Zoe looked up at him, and the moisture in her eyes dripped down her cheeks. Both the smooth freckled one, and the cheek cragged by scar tissue. “Do you have any idea what they took from you, X6!? Do you know the risks?”

As a courser, X6-88 knew his education had been intentionally limited. He had been taught a great deal about combat, some engineering and technical skills, and the basics of human anatomy as it related to his other specialties. He knew the medical facts about how human bodies worked, and the way he could cause harm because of that knowledge. And he also knew that, as a synth, he had a different set of priorities and responsibilities from his human creators and overseers. He had never once questioned the Institute’s directive to keep his sexual organs intact but non-functional. In fact, he quite agreed with their reasoning.

He said in his calmest voice: “The Institute has no need for coursers and worker synths who can be so easily distracted. In my case, especially. Seduction tactics are common for cornered and desperate rogue synths. They think they might be able to direct my attention elsewhere when I’m searching for them, or bribe their way to freedom by exchanging a momentary physical stimulation. They are wrong.”

If Director Bhatia heard his words, she didn’t react. Instead, she looked out the window of her office to gaze at the sprawling underground paradise of the Institute. The lights were in a mid-power setting to replicate early morning conditions, which caused the massive concourse outside to glimmer in the twilight. “All those synths… so many people. I thought I did everything I could to make things better for them. And I failed.” All sense of wrath and danger fled from Zoe Bhatia as she turned and looked back at X6-88, tears still flowing from her eyes. She gazed at him and his formal posture, then wrapped her arms around his waist.

“I’m so sorry.” She said as she rested her forehead against his chest. “I’m sorry I didn’t find out earlier.”

“Ma’am, are you sure this is wise?” He asked, caught between his duty to remain still and his sense of impropriety. “Someone might see us like this.” Try as he might, he could not control the increase in his heart rate and the simultaneous crawling sense of dread down his spine.

“I don’t care.”

In the sixteen months since they met, X6-88 and Zoe Bhatia had grown much closer than a human and a synth were allowed to be according to Institute regulations. Shared hardship, like mindsets, and a growing fascination with one another made the attraction inevitable. X6 saw her at her worst after her son’s passing. And he supported her when she was at her best, like when she redirected the Institute’s course toward the future she envisioned. He was there when she returned from a three-month absence at the cesspit called Nuka World. And all of the anxiety that he felt building within himself during that time dissipated when she smiled at him. Ever since then, X6-88 had given himself a new directive: always be there for her. And always be at her side. 

But they had both agreed to keep their growing relationship away from underground prying eyes, lest the SRB choose to reassign the Director’s bodyguard. Or worse, repurpose him. Carve out his memories and personality then download a new identity into his body. For all of Zoe’s sweeping changes to Institute operations since she had been named Director, the SRB still had that power over him and all other synths.

Zoe held him for another thirty seconds before pulling away. A small patch of hot moisture clung to his clothing, the place her tears had welled onto him. “I’ll fix this.” She said to him. “You’re a human being, no matter what they say. You don’t deserve what they’ve done to you.”

Months ago, he would have corrected her about his status as a synth. And perhaps if they stood in the presence of anyone else, he would have still done so. But now, so enamored with her and all she had done for the Institute, for him, and for everyone he knew, X6-88 did not argue.

***

Two months after the incident in the Director’s office, X6-88 reported to the same medical bay he first came to consciousness in, and submitted to his regular wellness exam. All synths in Institute service were required to endure this procedure every three months. As usual, his vital signs were perfect, and his physical condition showed zero abnormalities even after spending so much time among the dangers of the Commonwealth above. At the very end of the examination, X6 squinted his eyes and held his breath as Doctor Guerra approached like she always did. She held a familiar clipboard in one hand, covered in notes about the synth checkups she had done, while the other remained buried in a coat pocket. In all his previous encounters with that doctor, her other hand always held an injector full of Compound GnRH-19. She’d shove the needle into his left bicep without so much as a word of comfort then send him on his way. X6-88 hated needles, but he endured her procedure because it was his duty.

But today, she just walked past him. She didn’t acknowledge his presence or even look in his direction. Instead, the Doctor kept moving and disappeared from his vision in the sterile white medical bay.  

It wasn’t until several hours later that he realized what had happened. He stood in the courser equipment room, or as Zoe liked to call it: “the most boring locker room in the world”, half-dressed in his standard armor when his hand came up to rub his bicep. Every three months for his entire existence, the muscles in his upper left arm would sting for days after his required injection. And he knew that it meant his body would continue to not respond to external stimulus in a sexual manner. Today, his arm did not ache.

All around him, other coursers suited up for their duties. Some donned black armor exactly like his, others pulled the standard Institute-issue white uniforms over themselves as they prepared for their daily exercise and other responsibilities. None of them spoke, because they never spoke to each other while in the equipment room, but X6-88 could not help but notice a subtle shift in the energy of the place. Male and female coursers used the same equipment facilities simultaneously, and at no point had it ever become a problem or resulted in dereliction of duty. X6-88 was as familiar with his peers and their bodies as they were with his. It had never been an issue to see them in various stages of undress, just a normal part of his routine.

And yet now, he felt the compulsion to turn his head when X4-23 walked by with nothing on, his toned body flush with the sweat of his morning calisthenics. A sudden heat bloomed in his cheeks and forehead as he averted his gaze. Unfortunately, that put him in perfect position to see X7-49 pull her undershirt off. A strange electric shiver ran down his spine as he watched her, and memories of seeing Zoe in similar undress after a battle or dressing wounds flooded his mind’s eye.

He did not remain distracted for long, however. X6-88 had been put in far more compromising positions than this, and he knew better than to flaunt whatever new sensations were washing over him as the remaining GnRH-19 in his body wore away. Besides, Director Bhatia expected his presence within the hour. She had a new above-ground mission to accomplish. And like always, he would accompany her for the duration. He turned away from the sigh and banished the memories after a quick shake of his head.  

Just as he bent down to lace his boots into his preferred configuration, Doctor Justin Ayo entered the equipment room. The human did not react to the display of bared skin before him, to X6’s surprise. But he reminded himself that Ayo, or any human who worked in the SRB, had never looked at synths in the way he now saw his peers. In fact, Ayo’s expression looked somewhat disgusted as he saw the synths preparing for their day.

“Unit X6-88!” Ayo shouted as if the equipment room were full of chatter and ambient noises. He grunted when it took X6 a moment to stand up in half-tied boots. The moment he made himself known to the man, Ayo growled again. “ _The Director_  has changed her timetable. She wants you to report to the relay at once.” He spat the words out. Especially Zoe’s title.

“Of course, sir.” X6-88 responded as he always did. Ayo did not give him a courteous farewell, just turned away from the room while complaining about being a lowly messenger. The synth’s enhanced hearing overheard him muttering further curses about Zoe’s decisions, lack of formal education, and something disparaging about her appearance, before he left earshot. X6 reminded himself to file that into a formal complaint. Conduct unbecoming of a member of the Directorate.

On the trek up to the relay platform, X6-88 pondered what he had witnessed in the equipment room. Never before had he reacted to the presence of other people or synths in that way. He also recalled all of the times rogue synths and sympathetic humans tried to distract him with displays of flesh and other physical temptations. None of it ever aroused him. Not even when he protected Zoe on the surface, especially at night. When she required extended periods of sleep, he would watch over her. Often, he would lie next to her and provide cover when they could not find adequate shelter. More often than not, her sleep habits caused her to change position while close to him, grasping for his hand or pushing herself against him in a slow repetitive pattern. He never responded to those unconscious overtures, either.

Not even after they shared their first kiss. Old world books and stories often said that intimate physical contact happened after such an event, but they did not try to pursue it. X6-88 had been perfectly content with sharing his time with her, and expressing his interests in chaste ways that defied Institute regulations and ancient stories of human relationships. To him, that had been thrill enough, and excited parts of him that he didn’t even know he had. If Zoe was disappointed in that, she never said anything. In fact, she seemed just as happy with their arrangement as him, especially when he took the initiative and showed his affections on his own. At least, she seemed content until she realized it wasn’t his choice to remain non-sexual.

When the elevator to the relay finished its ascent, X6-88 was greeted by Zoe’s familiar face, as well as the glower of Doctor Filmore. The Institute’s chief engineer gave him a curt nod before turning back to the Director. Zoe wore her own version of courser armor, fitted and modified for her personal use. Colored black just like his, with the same sewn-in plates beneath the heavy cloth. But cut in subtly different ways that complemented her fighting style and personal aesthetic. But even in such drab clothing, her presence filled the room, and became all X6 could see.

“Anyway, that should be all we need from the site. But if you find anything else of interest, let me know.”

“Got it,” Zoe said to the other person. “That’ll be all, Allie.”

“Of course, Director.” Doctor Filmore said before turning toward the vacant elevator and leaving the relay chamber. She did not acknowledge X6-88 on her way out, and seemed to exhale a sigh of relief when the elevator’s doors closed around her.

Once alone, Zoe allowed herself to smile. She nudged X6-88 with her shoulder as they made their way to the center of the relay platform.

“You have no idea how much I’ve needed this.” She said as the mechanisms around them buzzed to life.

“A mission to the edge of the Commonwealth on the vain hope of finding a cache of prewar technology?” He asked as he forced himself to think of anything other than the scattered memories that had been dredged up by his experience in the equipment room. Seeing Zoe here and now, armored from neck to foot, just caused his mind to imagine the times he saw her in considerably less. So he brought up the files he had been given on the mission, and all that it entailed for them.

“Yes. That is exactly what I was talking about. A boring trip for technology.” The sarcasm of Zoe’s voice carried from the inside of the Institute to their destination.

***

Zoe chose their relay destination for several reasons. Primarily, it was far from any settlements or hubs of raider activity, and thus would preserve the secret of Institute teleportation for another day. Second, it sat on a relatively open and clear route toward their objective. Many times, their above-ground missions forced them to struggle over tangled ruins or crawl through disgusting sewers. This time, she wanted a nice walk. Which brought the third reason: as soon as the teleportation energy dissipated from their arrival site, Zoe reached out for X6-88’s hand.

He took it without hesitation and relished the warmth that spread from her hand into his. She glanced at him with a side-eye expression, and he noticed the way her lips curled upward. His did the same. The third reason was the most important. No one around, nothing in their way. Which gave them plenty of room to hold each other.

The sky above them contained just a few wisps of white clouds to cover the bright blue. Wind blew in from the east. And since they were far from the rotten heart of Boston or any other major settled area, the usual stink of above-ground habitation did not assault X6-88’s nose. Instead, the air smelled light and inviting with a hint of wild flowers, a major contrast to the heavy recycled air of the Institute below. His head spun as his lungs accustomed to the natural air, which required him a moment to reorient himself.

Before them, a long straight road cut through tangled overgrowth and endless fields of chest-tall grass beyond. Though like all old world constructs, the road was pitted and in a state of severe neglect with several areas that disappeared into the plant life. Still, it provided a stable enough path for the two of them to walk on. In the far distance, a growth of young trees surrounded what might have been a water source. A crown of green above a gold-brown ocean.

“Intel said it’s a two day walk to the cache.” Zoe said, the smile on her face transferring to her words. “Nothing in our way, clear weather, just us. Couldn’t ask for a better assignment.”

“I look forward to the journey, ma’am.” He replied before setting off.

The rest of the day’s walk proved to be as uneventful as the reports and Zoe’s predictions said. Almost nothing broke X6-88’s line of sight along the way, beyond that patch of trees and a ruined pile of debris off the road that might have once been a farm house. As the day wore on, X6 and Zoe’s hands parted, but they remained in proximity. They didn’t say much, though they never really spoke while on the road. Petty distractions like conversations could have concealed an ambush, after all.

By the time the bright openness of daytime bled into dark hues and whispered stillness of evening, the pair came to a stop. They stood just outside a cluster of intact buildings that bustled with life. Large old-world houses arranged in a circle, with a broken and corroded decorative fountain in the middle. Blue flags waved on a bent flagpole, and a familiar blue banner wafted on the roof of one of the buildings.

“Looks like the Minutemen are spreading faster than we thought.” Zoe observed. Beyond the flags, several people wearing scrappy uniforms patrolled between the buildings, watching other people sawing wood and hammering supportive structures onto the old buildings. Others in the distance milled about a large cooking fire while another group behind the houses seemed to be digging the first steps of a large organized farm.

X6 grunted a dismissive noise. “We should avoid this settlement and keep moving, ma’am. No telling how they will react to us.”

“Aw, c’mon, X6. Can’t you smell that?” Zoe lifted her nose to take in a long breath of the smoke drifting from the Minutemen’s fire. “We haven’t eaten anything all day.”

“We have ration packs, ma’am. You picked out the flavors.”

“Yeah well, I changed my mind.” The Director said before turning toward the new settlement. X6 hesitated for just a moment before following her. “Oh, take off your sunglasses. Don’t want to scare ‘em.”

“I doubt my eyewear will have any effect on their mood.”

“Maybe I just like looking at your eyes. Ever think of that?”

X6 did as ordered and removed his ever-present sunglasses. The evening world shone brighter than he imagined without the lenses in front of him. He put them in a safe pocket in his armored coat.

The pair approached a patrol of sentries before heading straight into the settlement. Doing otherwise might have raised an alarm and started a fight. Instead, the sentries nodded at the approaching travelers and waved them forward. X6-88 noticed that their uniforms looked ragged and shabby, but a uniform kind of ragged. Like they were proud of their imperfections, and made it part of their childish attempt at military precision. He might have laughed if it didn’t look so pathetic.

“Hold there.” The lead sentry called out. A tall man with heavy muscles who might have proved a threat if things got out of control. X6’s trained eye noticed the way he walked: a slight limp that hinted at trouble with his right knee. Likewise, he held his weapon in a light grip, as if his hands bothered him in some way. The synth knew he could use that information.

“We’re just passing through.” Zoe answered in a neutral, diplomatic voice. “Thought you might be able to share a meal and a couple of beds for the night.”

“This settlement isn’t ready for civilians. Best be on your way.” The sentry responded.

“I don’t think General Garvey would appreciate you treating The Director of the Institute that way.” Zoe’s voice darkened as she brought up the Minutemen’s leader.

The color drained from the shabby Minuteman’s face. “D-Director?”

X6-88 stepped forward. “That’s right. Director Bhatia politely requests your hospitality for the night. I believe the Minutemen charter demands you help those in need.” Even without his sunglasses equipped, he knew he could make for an intimidating figure. To add emphasis, X6 crossed his arms over his chest. His right hand palmed his small pistol tucked into his jacket.

“Right. Um. Yes. I believe we could share some of what we’ve got for the night. Maybe even get you a room to sleep in. Just don’t… just remember we’re trying to live our lives here. We don’t want trouble.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Zoe said as she made her way to the cooking fire. X6-88 regarded the sentries for a moment longer before following her.

***

Once the local leader had been informed of Zoe’s identity, he allowed them use the settlement’s most secure lodgings. An extra olive branch from his organization to hers, no doubt. A large bedroom on the top floor of the most intact house, with a functional door, no holes in the roof, walls, or floor, and a newly constructed bed with a heavy timber frame and soft cushioned bedding on top. A lantern on top of a fresh-build (yet empty) shelf provided soft light to the relatively large space, and a water basin had been provided for a quick scrub-down should they require it. Wasteland luxuries, X6-88 mused. Nothing compared to the most basic amenities provided by the Institute.

He and Zoe walked up to their sleeping quarters after spending half an hour partaking in the meal provided to everyone in the settlement. Some sort of roasted animal and a thin vegetable soup to go with it. It seemed as if the meat had been intended to be a centerpiece of a planned celebration, perhaps to commemorate their efforts to settle the area. But the arrival of two members of another faction had thrown those plans into disarray, and the entire settlement ate in wary silence before retiring to their beds. That suited X6-88 just fine. And based on his time spent with Zoe, she seemed okay with it as well.

Once upstairs, and X6 confirmed the door could be locked from the inside while Zoe sat down on the bed and stretched her muscles. She pulled the heavy armored black coat off her shoulders and sighed.

“Aren’t you glad I changed my mind about those ration packs, X6?” she asked while appreciatively tapping her stomach.

“There was always a risk of the food being undercooked, or riddled with diseases and parasites. I would have preferred to eat something guaranteed to not make us sick for the duration of the mission.” X6 looked at her as she finished shrugging the coat away from her and onto the floor. And for another uncomfortable moment, he caught himself looking over her in a way he never had before. The clothing beneath her jacket was tailored to fit against her body, and clung to her much tighter than the loose and patchy clothing most wastelanders wore. He could see the way her hips curved, her legs flexed, and even her stomach muscles as she continued to move her hand over it. Those intrusive memories of her bared skin returned, much stronger this time now that they had privacy. He glanced away as fast as he could manage.

“Now you’re just being petty.” Zoe teased. If she noticed the way his eyes wandered over her, she didn’t bring it up.

“If that’s how you define my concern for your safety, ma’am, then so be it.”

“Oh, that’s how it’s gonna be, huh? Mister big tall protector can’t admit when he’s jealous someone else can make a better dinner?” Her light demeanor didn’t shift. Zoe stood up to move in front of the synth and crossed her arms over her chest in a playful display of defiance. In the full lantern light, he could see her bare arms in better detail, and the way her numerous tattoos danced on the skin. He had to turn around lest he be stuck there.

This time, she did notice his behavior.

“Hey, X6, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, ma’am. I’m just… making sure the room is secure.”

“You already did that. And I’m pretty sure the entire building is empty except us. Something about a big terrifying courser scaring them off for the night.”

“You can never be too careful.” He tried to say as Zoe once again moved in front of him. When he tried to turn once more, she held up a hand to his cheek and locked him in place. X6 closed his eyes and concentrated on the warmth that radiated from her palm, rather than succumb to his growing anxiety clawing up from a source he didn’t understand.

“If you’ve got something to say, don’t hold back. I told you a long time ago that you’re always free to tell me anything you want. I care about you, X6. A lot. And I need to know you’re doing all right.” He opened his eyes to look into hers. In the flickering illumination, her eyes flashed between green and brown, a quirk of their unique hazel coloration. The smooth side of her face bathed in the light, showing off her countless freckles and soft skin, while the other side shrouded in darkness. Almost hiding the jagged scars left behind by the commonwealth.

For a moment, X6-88 debated if he wanted to tell her. Part of it felt improper, _if not obscene_ , to admit he had started to look at her and other people in a different way. Objectively, he knew exactly why this was happening, but a lifetime of thinking he had no right or reason to feel this way conflicted with his new reality. As a synth, he had been told his future ended when the Institute said it ended. He had no prospects for love, family, or anything beyond his orders. Several months ago, Zoe broke through that conditioning to show him a much brighter world. And now the lack of a single chemical in his body pushed him ever further toward it. And it frightened him.  

X6 sighed and moved to the bed. He sat down with a heavy slump, to emphasize his dour expression. “I believe the effect of the remaining GnRH-19 in my system has diminished to an unsustainable level. And since I was not given a new dose in my latest medical evaluation, I’m afraid I’m beginning to notice things I had not before. And I find it to be… unsettling.”

“Notice things?” Zoe follow him to the bed and sat at his side. “Like what?”

“Ma’am, I believe you know exactly what I’m talking about. No one but the Director could have instructed the SRB to discontinue a vital part of a synth’s routine medical procedure.”

Zoe’s kind and concerned expression barely hid a smile. “Well, I think I did spot you staring a couple times before we came up here. Especially that one woman with the big… guns.” To emphasize her words, Zoe held both of her hands in front of her chest, to illustrate large breasts. And truly, X6-88 did notice that, but he also thought he had been discrete about it just like he had been in the equipment room. Zoe must have seen his cheeks flush with blood and heat, because she giggled. A sound he did not expect to hear. “Oh god, are you embarrassed, X6?”

“No, ma’am. I’m just concerned that this new behavior is inappropriate. And may cause problems if it isn’t addressed.”

She laughed again, though he hoped it was not at his expense. “Oh, no, it’s totally fine. I promise. To be honest, I didn’t expect it to happen this fast.”

“You knew this reaction would happen?”

“I told you, X6, they took something from you and every other synth when they decided to use that shit. Something important. Something that makes you… human.”

“But I am not human.” He said with an edge to his voice. An edge he felt crumble a little more every day.

“You may not have been born like I was, but that doesn’t make you different. You’re just as real and important as anyone I’ve ever known. And you deserve to be your own person.”

“That’s a dangerous attitude to have.”

“No, it’s the  _right_ attitude.” Zoe shot back with a force and power that she often used against those that displeased her. She brought her finger up to jab it into his chest. “And I’ll be damned if you go the rest of your life thinking that way.”

Before he could respond, Zoe reached for his cheek again, and pulled his head down until their lips made contact. Such intimacy was not new to him, and he did not pull away or gasp as she deepened the embrace. Both of her arms reached around his neck and held him in place as she swiveled her hips around to sit on his lap. Now in a much more comfortable position, X6 raised his hands to her side to hold Zoe as she continued to kiss him. Her eyes squeezed shut as she held him, and he did the same.

She pulled back a moment later, short of breath and a bead of sweat on her brow. As she did, X6 opened his eyes to look into hers. “X6, I just want you to know that how I feel about you… it’s as real as the way you feel about me. And if this isn’t what you want… I promise I won’t stop you from getting another dose of that stuff. You get to make your own decisions about your fate, no one else. That’s what makes you as human as I am.”

“This is all so new to me.” He said in a whisper, because his voice suddenly failed him. “I don’t want it to become a problem.”

“Then it won’t be one. As soon as we get back to the Institute, I’ll make sure they have a dose waiting for you.” She tried to smile as she said it, but X6-88 could see the subtle downward tug at the corner of her eye, and the shallow breaths she took in. As well as the small pool of moisture gathering in her eyes.

“That’s not what I said.” He replied with a smile of his own.

And this time, he took the initiative before she could. He pushed himself forward to kiss Zoe with the same fire and passion she showed him. His hands on her waist pulled her forward so she was even closer to him. So close that he could feel the increased radiating heat from her body permeate his thick armored clothing. She let out a small noise he knew from experience meant she approved, so he did not let go until he needed a long breath.

“Oh… okay.” Zoe breathed. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

“You’ve taught me so many things. I think I would like it if you continued to show me.” He said as he placed his forehead against hers and breathed. He knew Zoe’s scent well, just as he knew much of her. But now, like this with her, in such a close and safe place, he wanted to know more.

Zoe returned the gesture, and X6 watched a tear fall down a cheek that curled around the biggest grin he had ever seen from Zoe. “Only if it’s what you really want, and you’re not just telling me what you think I want to hear.”

“I don’t have much experience with admitting what I desire. But I know that you’d disapprove if I tried to lie about something like this. I… wish to continue what you started, ma’am.”

“Call me Zoe.” She whispered. “At least for tonight, please call me Zoe.”

“As you wish, Zoe.” He said. And then all of the salacious thoughts, vivid images, and inappropriate moods in the world felt like a metaphorical drop in an ocean. Just saying her name in such a context, with her body so close to his, with her lips and breath and warmth his for the taking, exploded something deep within X6-88. He knew he could never go back, not after this.

She kissed him again. And to his surprise, her lips parted as soon as they touched, and he felt her tongue reach out. He mimicked her gesture, eager to learn what she wished to show him, while Zoe’s left hand slithered away from his neck to his hand. Once she had him, she placed his palm flat on her stomach, and then guided it downward. The heat from her stomach grew almost to a furnace as he reached the apex of her thighs.

She pulled back from their intense kiss just before his fingertips touched the edge of her belt. “I just want to make sure, X6. If you’re uncomfortable or you want to stop at any time, you need to tell me, okay?”

“Ma’am… Zoe. I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.”

She grinned again, and looked down as she pushed his hand beneath her belt, under her tight-cut trousers. The material on the outside looked glossy, like heavy artificial leather colored black. Beneath, however, felt soft and inviting, much more comfortable than he assumed it to be. Like fur cut short and uniform. But the softness of her garment paled in comparison to the skin his fingertips and palm brushed against. Almost otherworldly in how she yielded to him, and yet had a strength beneath it all that let him know she was still there. Her hand on the back of his guided X6 precisely where she wanted him to go, and he felt every bit like an eager student ready to learn more about her.

What was more remarkable than the smooth and silken texture of her was the warmth. He thought she radiated intense heat just from his hand on her waist, but this was something else. Something much richer. And beyond that, as he reached the apex of his journey, he felt something new. The smooth skin that reminded him of the softest tactile sensations gave way to a sudden wetness. He spared just a momentary surprise at the sudden change, which caused Zoe to laugh again. But he resumed his pace until he knew his entire hand cupped Zoe’s most intimate anatomy.

Once in place, Zoe’s hips started to roll against his palm, pushing something against him he didn’t notice before. Another bit of soft warmth, but concentrated into a nub ever so rougher than the rest of the area. And as she did that, Zoe’s guiding hand encouraged his middle finger to explore the growing wetness between her labia. And while part of his curiosity begged him to dip the entire digit into her, he resisted. Instead, he moved his finger back and forth, up and down the slit in a way she seemed to want him to. The more he did it, the more his hand flooded with her growing wetness.

“You’re quite aroused.” X6 said as Zoe’s guiding hand pushed him harder against her, which in turn caused let out another approving noise. While X6 had never personally experienced such a thing, he still knew a great deal of human anatomy because of his occupation as a courser. He understood how her arousal worked and the physiological impact it had. And yet…

“Is this because of me?” He asked, dumbfounded and shocked as he realized what it really meant.

“Mm,” Zoe nodded as she continued to grind her hips on X6’s open hand. “Yeah. Yeah it is.” She managed to say between more gasps of breath.

While his concentration remained locked on the new feeling of aiding in Zoe’s arousal, X6 failed to notice her other hand snaking down his body toward his trousers. He also failed to notice her unlatch his belt and work into his garments until he felt her fingers wrap around his manhood.

“And I bet this is for me.” She gasped.

The Institute never removed synth anatomy, instead preferring to chemically inhibit the body’s ability to process “unnecessary processes” as they called it. Both male and female synths required a fully functional set of organs to remain in peak condition. Something about hormone production, and the fact that intact gentials prevented even more extensive medical intervention than a regular three-month treatment. Besides, the synths created to infiltrate above-ground society or replace living people needed to replicate ALL of the behaviors of normal humans. Synths incapable of such a basic human interaction would have been quickly spotted and disposed of. Only the synths like him, who had no need of such intimacy during normal duties, were kept under such a program. At least, until now.

X6-88 had experienced erections before. The consequence of having such anatomy meant they were bound to happen. Sometimes a doctor required him to show he was fully functional, and used non-sexual means to force him into that state. At other times, a natural reaction to anxiety or adrenaline caused blood to flow into the area against his will. And yet, due to the compound forcibly injected into him, there had never been any feelings associated with it. And they never lasted more than a minute before it returned to its flaccid state.

But nothing could have prepared him for the sensation of Zoe’s hand on him, cradling his penis with an exceedingly gentle touch. She stroked her hand up and down in a practiced motion, smooth and unyielding. It felt as if fireworks went off in his mind and his heart simultaneously, and he almost jumped out of position. Not only was this the most intense physical sensation he had ever experienced, a small part of his brain could not help but think of his intense vulnerability at this moment. He knew precisely how many nerve endings were at Zoe’s mercy. At any time, she could claw into his skin, or tug and rip at him until his nervous system overwhelmed with agony. Such brutal torture had been taught to him, and he knew well how effectively monstrous it could be. And yet she did nothing of the sort. Zoe had him in such a new and fragile position, yet did not exploit it. That alone made the sexual touch more special than she could ever realize.

Zoe kissed his lips again and continued to rub herself on his hand, spreading the warm wet sensation over all of his fingers and palm. As that increased, so did the vigorousness of her movement. Likewise, her hand on him moved faster, which caused X6 to involuntarily gasp and moan in a manner much like hers. A noise he never expected himself to make.

She noticed it, however, and started moving her mouth from his. She kissed down his right cheek, then parted her lips to kiss down his jaw. And not long after that, she moved down his neck. That’s when she bit him.

X6-88 had been bitten several times in his life. Most of the time by rogue synths trying one last desperate attack to save themselves from his clutches. Every time it happened, they bit with the intent to cause him serious harm, break his skin, and at the very least stun him for a moment. It had never been a pleasurable experience, especially when an infection once set into a bite wound on his abdomen. The recovery from that had been long and agonizing.

He recoiled from the sudden feeling of Zoe’s teeth on his neck, and all sensations between his legs and hers came to a sudden halt. It didn’t matter that she put no serious pressure on him with her teeth, or that she seemed more interested in lavishing pleasant sensations with her tongue rather than concentrate on the hard sharpness on his skin. The moment had passed.

“What? What is it?” Zoe asked a half-second later, her eyes wide with concern. X6 felt her hand move away from his erection as she did so. She pulled out of his trousers and rested over his heart. Likewise, his hand slipped out from her legs and helped stabilize him on the bed. It left a large patch of wet slick on the quilted bedding.

“I wasn’t expecting that.” He admitted.

“Oh!” Zoe gasped. “I’m sorry, X6. I should have realized… I got a little too into it. But I couldn’t help myself. You’re just so damn… good.”

“I have a patient teacher.” He said as his heartbeat calmed. He forced himself to ignore the unpleasant memories that came with the bite. Those were irrelevant right now. All that mattered was the woman right in front of him. And the world she wished to introduce him to. In fact, what helped him most was intentionally bringing up those memories of her half-dressed. But now he could add the sensation of her hand on him to those images. And a new layer of wonder entered his mind.

“Do you need to stop?” She asked with a quiet, gentle tone.

“No ma’am… Zoe. But perhaps we could do something different?”

Her sour expression lightened, and Zoe arched her back. “In that case, I have an idea.” Zoe’s hands left him to bunch up at the bottom of her shirt, and she lifted it off her torso in a single smooth motion. After she tossed it away into the darkness, Zoe grabbed X6’s left hand and pulled it to her breast, just like she had previously guided his other hand between her legs. She hummed appreciatively at the contact.

“You have to admit, this is much better than just looking, isn’t it?” She asked as she guided his hand over the soft skin. Unlike the majority of her torso, Zoe’s breasts were not tattooed. But according to some of the conversations they shared in the past, she had once had her nipples pierced sometime in her youth. Back in the pre-war days when such practices were safe and somewhat common. Those memories and images of Zoe undressed banished to nothingness as he confronted the reality of actually touching her. The feeling of his hand on another soft, yielding, warm part of her body. Something no one else could do but him. Zoe’s breasts were considerably smaller than some other women he could visualize, especially that one minuteman she pointed out earlier. But that did not matter to him. Right now, she trusted him enough to be here like this. A synth. That alone made her more beautiful and desirable than anyone he ever knew.

As Zoe showed him how she liked him to caress and feel her, X6’s eyes wandered from her stiffening nipples to the rest of her bare chest and stomach.

X6 could not help but imagine future scenarios where she allowed him to study the intricate designs that covered her body in much greater detail. Truth be told, he used to think quite low of people with tattoos. The Institute forbade them, and wastelanders who got them often used unsanitary and dangerous methods. And their tattoos were often brutal and simple, meant to convey frightening images or displays of power. Zoe’s tattoos were finer, far more intricate, and made with such artistry that he could scarcely comprehend it. The idea of spending a great deal of time memorizing every detail almost excited him as much as the events happening right in front of him.

Zoe wasn’t satisfied with being the only one without a shirt for long. She changed her position and reached around X6-88 to aid him in removing his own coat and shirt. The procedure was awkward with someone sitting on his lap, but he managed. And soon, his clothing joined hers on the floor, lost somewhere in the dim lantern light. A burst of cool air brushed his skin as the cloth left him, which might have made him shudder if he didn’t have Zoe and her body heat radiating toward him.  

X6 relaxed himself and slouched backward onto his elbows, content to just admire Zoe’s uncovered chest as she did the same to him. His torso had no tattoos, but he did have many scars. Unspoken tales of countless missions to the surface, most of them violent. Discolorations, the remnants of severe burns, in his normal skin tone were normal, as were several deep gashes into his musculature. And of course an unmistakable bite mark on his lower abdomen.  

She seemed to notice none of that. Instead, Zoe’s eyes wandered over his developed muscles, and taut features. Like his hand before, she reached up to stroke her fingertips over his shoulder, then up his collar, and back down his chest. Her entire palm rubbed over him, taking in the feeling of his body. X6-88 worked hard to maintain his physique, as peak physical condition was required for his duties. Weak muscles, fragile joints, or slow reflexes meant death in the wasteland, after all.

“Wow.” She breathed. Almost all of the dignity and grace she normally carried herself with evaporated as Zoe ogled him. Instead, she seemed almost like a starving scavenger just given a meal fit for ten people. And as X6 watched her, a strange sense of satisfaction and pride washed over him. For many months, he had felt much more than a tool to be used and discarded by the Institute. Zoe’s influence showed him he was valued, appreciated, and loved by someone. But now, under the unfamiliar gaze of Zoe’s lust, he realized that he had transcended even that barrier. She often said he was more than a synth, that he was a human being. Perhaps this was the first time he believed her.

Zoe leaned forward again, and once again put her mouth to his skin, but not his lips. Instead, she went lower, and put gentle, near-instant touches to his sternum and started going downward. The further she went, the more Zoe slid off his lap until she had to move off of him and orient herself to her knees on the floor. She didn’t seem to mind kneeling before a synth, and no longer did, either.

And then her skilled hands returned, undoing X6-88’s belt and pulling the last of his clothing free of his body. His erection sprang free the moment his trousers went beyond his thighs, and Zoe once again stopped her actions to look at it. She gasped and her grin widened.

Her gaze lingered so long that a needle of anxiety pushed into X6’s spine. He didn’t like the oppressive silence. “Is there something wrong?” He asked.

Zoe shook her head, almost as if she had to pull herself out of a trance. “No. Not at all. I was just… admiring the view.”

“I wasn’t aware such anatomy was worth staring at.”

Zoe stood up from her kneeling position. “Buddy, you have no idea.” She turned around, but not to walk away. She just showed her tattooed back to him. After that, Zoe reached for her belt and undid her trousers. Then with a slow, sensual motion slid them down her legs. She bent her waist as she did so, accentuating her hips and rear for him. The tattoos on her legs were not as extensive as her arms, but they had their own beauty to them. And they seemed to draw attention up to the places he used to avoid looking at.

Zoe looked over him from her shoulder with a dusky grin on her lips. “I’m going to show you so many things, X6.” As she spoke, she reached up to her head, up to the knot that held her hair in place. She undid the small strip of elastic cloth that kept her hair in its usual configuration, and it slipped down her neck in a slow avalanche of black strands. She shook her head and dropped the strip, which billowed her hair to its full length. When tied back, she accentuated the fact she kept the side of her scalp shaved, and the ponytail reached the back of her neck. When released, her hair reached her shoulders, and framed her face in a way X6-88 enjoyed seeing.

“I look forward to it.” He replied with the same tone she used. Seeing Zoe like this, so uncovered and free before him, just for him, brought new thought to his mind. Carnal fantasies and images based on the things he had seen in his life. From recorded images meant to teach him about human behaviors to stumbling upon wastelanders in the act of intercourse. He wanted to do them all with her, and then try things beyond that. For the first time, he felt his groin feel tight and somewhat painful, but only because the blood would not stop flowing into the area. He felt as if a rock had been tied to his crotch, and it wanted nothing more than her attention.

“I think we have to start with the basics. But you’re such a fast learner, I doubt we’ll stay there for long.”

“Whatever you wish, Zoe.” X6 no longer felt the need to turn his gaze from the Director as she stood in front of him. She turned to face him, and he got a full view of her body. From her tattooed chest, arms and stomach, down her tight muscles and curved thighs. She had her hands on her hips and the same dusky inviting smile, giving him silent permission to stare.

But not for too long. “Hey, eyes up here, big guy.” She teased, and brought a gentle finger under X6’s chin. She slowly brought his gaze back up to hers. “Follow my lead, okay?”

He nodded.

Zoe lowered herself to the bed, away from him. He watched as she put her head on the pillow and laid herself on her back, then languidly spread her legs. Her loose hair framed her head like a dark halo. Once in a comfortable place, one of her hands reached down to rub herself in much the same way he had done to her, but focused and more intense until she started making more involuntary noises that sounded better than any music he had ever heard. He watched for a moment, entranced at the sight of her and what she was doing. The memories of how soft and warm she felt to the touch flooded back to him, and he wanted both to go back to helping her, but also just watch as she put herself on display for him.

“Come on.” Zoe urged. “I can’t wait much longer.”

X6 nodded and laid himself down at her side, much like he had done countless times since he first offered to protect Zoe at night. The feeling of her entire body pressed against him without any clothes or armor shocked through every nerve in his body. And the feeling of his erection rubbing against her thigh, so close to her wet core, made him shudder with indescribable pleasure.

“Oh no, not like that.” Zoe teased. “Get on top.”

“Are you sure?”

“Trust me, I’ve done this… lots of times.”

X6 raised an eyebrow, but he did not argue. He had been content with her on his lap, or perhaps restarting their hand-based contact but laying nude next to each other. He felt a pang of trepidation about putting himself on top of Zoe. He was much larger than her, to the point that when they stood next to each other, the top of her head touched his shoulder. His muscles alone outweighed her entire body, not to mention the rest of him. How could she possibly be comfortable like that? What if he couldn’t hold himself up for long enough? Would she suffocate?

“Don’t worry, X6. Just do what you think feels right.” Zoe urged when she noticed his hesitation.  

After just one more moment of contemplation, X6 clambered to a position above Zoe, recreating a pushup pose, although the bed’s springy softness fought against him. True to his fear, Zoe’s much smaller body seemed to disappear below him, and X6 had to reposition himself so their faces were equal to one another. His feet slipped into open air as he did so, clear off the bed’s edge. So much was the difference between them.

Zoe reached up with her free hand to once again stroke his face. “Thank you for trusting me.” She said before leaning up to kiss him. As she did so, X6 felt Zoe’s legs shift from underneath him, and then spread father to allow him to sink between them.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

“I think so.” X6-88 knew what she wished to do, but that same burst of anxiety continued to hound him. What if he performed badly? What if he hurt her? What if someone burst into the room like he had sometimes done to unsuspecting synths caught in this exact position?

The hand Zoe had been using to touch herself reached to once again grab hold of his erection, and he felt some of her wetness transfer to his skin. X6 sucked in a breath at the renewed contact, but he had just enough experience with it to hold back a larger reaction. Zoe guided him a little further down from where he had been holding himself, until the head of his cock rubbed against a place hotter than he imagined, slick and inviting. He thought his hand had been the best sensation of her, but this was like a hurricane compared to a drizzle.  

“Right there, X6. Right there.” Zoe urged with a half-breath moan as she moved her hand away.

Something deep down overtook X6-88, something he didn’t realize he had. An instinct, buried in a part of his mind he couldn’t control, thrust his hips forward. Something animalistic and primal guided his body into hers, and X6 stepped into an entirely new world.

Zoe Bhatia’s body was much smaller than his. Her muscles were thin and wiry and she had little fat on her rail-thin tattooed body. She should have felt like nothing beneath him, and perhaps at one time, she did. But immersed in this heavy, tight, welcoming and hot sensation, his entire world became her. She overwhelmed him and he felt like nothing as he submerged himself like a drop of water into an endless ocean. And best of all, the way she welcomed him inside made him feel as if he was always meant to be there. The night beyond the walls was warm, so was the lantern. None of it compared to the heat that surrounded him now.

“Holy shit.” Zoe exclaimed, which drew X6 from his concentration.

“Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?” He asked as his heart rate increased. And those poetic images dissolved as he realized her distress. His concern for Zoe outweighed the overwhelming sensations he felt.

“No! No. I just… I just need a moment…  _shit._ ” She said as her hands reached around him to hold his back. “You’re really big.”

“Should we stop?”

“Oh fuck no!” Zoe almost spat out. She spent another moment with her eyes squeezed shut and her face stuck in a grimace. But at the same time, her breathing remained elevated, small moans kept coming from her, and X6 felt her legs move to wrap around him much like her arms entwined his torso.

As he got used to feeling her body under and around him, X6-88 repositioned one of his hands from the bed to behind Zoe, to cup the back of her head much like she had done early in their encounter. His fingers twirled around her long dark hair as he did so. Once he had her, X6 leaned down to kiss her. Zoe moaned around his lips as he took her, and she once again opened her lips like she did before. He reciprocated, enthusiastically deepening their kiss in a way he quite enjoyed.

As they kissed, that deep-down part of X6 took over again. Something about being with her in this way, such an intimate and primal connection he hardly understood, compelled his hips to roll forward and back. Small, gentle thrusts he couldn’t stop himself from making. Every time he did, Zoe made that approving noise he liked. He tried keeping count of how many times he pushed forward, but his brain had trouble keeping track of such analytical things as his body consumed itself with the full spectrum of Zoe Bhatia.

And then in a night full of surprises and new experiences, she introduced X6 to a new thing. Around his penis, which had already felt so wonderfully squeezed and surrounded, she flexed muscles that made the sensations even stronger.

“You aren’t hurting me, X6. And you won’t break me. Go harder.” Zoe grinned and bit her bottom lip,

Any further encouragement from Zoe died as she let out a long, needy, whimpering moan. X6 had taken the cue and consciously thrust, pushing more of his hip muscles into the action and burying himself deeper within her. Zoe pushed her head down against his hand, exposing her slender neck to him and exclaimed her immense satisfaction with his move, which he took another cue and lowered his lips to it. He did exactly what she had done to him, lavishing her neck, from her ear down to her collar, with light wet kisses.

Zoe squeezed him again with her lower muscles, but any words she might have said in response to X6’s new approach were drowned by incoherent sounds and mumbled versions of “Oh fuck” in various forms. One time, she said it in a language other than English.  

Not long after he began thrusting on his own, however, X6-88 felt something coiling within him. A building tension somewhere deep in his abdomen, yet somehow also centered on his genitals and the indescribable and all-consuming pleasure he felt with Zoe. His breath hitched in his lungs and his body once again overtook his thrusting. He had no more control, he just felt an inevitable release wash over him as he continued his motions.

Zoe noticed this almost as soon as he did, and her arms caressed his back as the frequency of his thrusts increased. Her legs around his waist tightened, further cementing him in his place.

“Right there. Right there. Fuck!” She exclaimed.

That pushed him over the edge. The coiling spring inside his body unleashed, and a flood of ineffable release washed over the synth. He felt his body stop moving entirely, save a heavy tremble to his muscles, as he spent himself inside of Zoe over and over again. The heat of her body joined his. Beneath him, Zoe continued to writhe and moan, her muscles clamping around him in a wild, semi-rhythmic pattern. She again lost the ability to speak, and her eyes clamped tighter than he had ever seen before. After a long, surprisingly loud cry of ecstasy from her, Zoe calmed and opened her eyes.

“That’s… never happened before.” She said as she looked up at him.

“What hasn’t?” He asked as he felt the world spin and everything seem as right and wonderful as he could have ever imagined. The incredible warmth of her body remained all around him, but the consuming need to be there drifted away. Yet, he didn’t quite feel the desire to slide off, either.

“At the same time… I’ve never… holy shit.” In the dimness, X6 could see the sweat beading on Zoe’s brow, and the way her hair sat flush against her skin. Indeed, he looked down across her entire body to see a sheen of moisture. Some of it also transferred to him. Or had he started to sweat as much as her?

“I hope I did well for my first experience.” X6 said. He felt himself grow softer while still inside Zoe as his muscles relaxed and his breathing calmed. At the same time, his eyelids grew heavy and weary. Perhaps he would recommend this as an effective aerobic exercise to his fellow coursers one day. 

She laughed at that, and kissed his cheek. “X6, you were amazing for your first time.”

One last instinct remained in X6-88’s body, and he rolled to the side, freeing himself from Zoe and allowing her to once again see open air. Her legs seemed to fight him, as if begging to remain intertwined for a moment longer, but she relented. The sudden rush of cold around his slick-covered manhood felt almost like relaying out of the climate-controlled Institute into a blizzard. He shivered at the momentary discomfort. Yet he managed to regain control of himself after a moment.

He propped himself up on an elbow to get a better view of Zoe, who remained on her back and seemed to wriggle in small aftershocks of what they just did. “I think I’d like to do this again.” He said.

Zoe’s laugh, which she had done many times this evening, rung out louder and more serene than he had ever heard before. Her hands moved in gentle touches over her stomach and up to her breasts and shoulders, then back down. “X6, if you thought this was a one-time thing, you are sorely mistaken.”

It was his turn to laugh, a small halting chuckle that felt almost as unfamiliar as everything that had just happened to him. As he did so, X6-88 curled himself down to once more place his lips on Zoe’s. “I look forward to it.”


End file.
